A Year Without the Scale
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For The Daughter Who Never Felt Good Enough
Father’s Day always feels different than Mother’s Day for me.My dad and I loved each other, but our relationship wasn’t simple.For much of my life, I never quite felt like I was good enough for him. Looking back now, I think those feelings belonged more to me than they did to him, but when you’re
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My Favorite Flower Bed
Last winter, I scattered wildflower seeds along the side of our house.I imagined bright blooms dancing in the Oklahoma sunshine. I pictured a cheerful strip of color lining the walkway. Then I waited.Spring arrived, and my husband decided that area needed a little help. Not realizing I had already planted wildflower seeds months earlier, he
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The Original Side Hustle
My brother is seven years older than me, which meant growing up he was equal parts big brother, babysitter, and neighborhood businessman.One of my earliest memories is him taking me for rides on the handlebars of his bike when I was around five years old. At the time, I thought it was the greatest thing
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FORGIVEN
I turned 54 this year and realized something gently but clearly: I’ve lived most of my life without self-confidence. Not in dramatic ways, just quietly. Measuring myself by how I looked, how I was perceived, and whether I felt chosen or enough. That way of thinking shaped more of my life than I realized. It
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Strength Training in a Dermatology Procedure Room
Today was supposed to be strength training day.But my husband had a Mohs procedure scheduled to remove a spot of skin cancer, and the doctor told us the process could take up to six hours. Anyone who has gone through Mohs knows that most of that time is waiting.So before we even left the house,
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The Mother I Became
When I was growing up, the dream in my heart was simple: I wanted to be a wife and a mother.But life doesn’t always unfold the way we imagine when we’re young. In my early twenties, I was diagnosed with PCOS, and after trying fertility treatments, it became clear that having biological children might not
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The Scale Isn’t Moving Back In
When my daughter mentioned the possibility of moving back in, my mind didn’t go to space or schedules.It went to a scale.“You can come,” I told her,“but your scale can’t.”She laughed and said, “That’s dumb.”And honestly… I understand why it sounds that way.It’s just a scale.But I’ve learned something about myself this year:If there’s a
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The Morning I Didn’t Measure
This morning started quietly.I had been up for a while, baking cookies while the house was still asleep. No noise, no rush—just the rhythm of something simple.When I finished, I sat down by the window. It was slightly open, just enough for the breeze to slip in. Spring-soft air. Birds just beginning their morning song.I
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The Night I Stopped Starting Over
There were so many nights like that.I would reach the end of the day still hungry, or maybe not physically hungry but just… unsatisfied. So I would eat more. Sometimes a little. Sometimes a lot. And almost every time I would tell myself the same thing.Tomorrow I will start again.Sometimes it was Monday. Sometimes it
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Laying Down the Battle
This morning I was texting with my sister-in-law.She had made a comment about looking like a sixty-year-old. I told her what I honestly think—that she looks great.Somewhere in the middle of that conversation, I found myself typing something I’ve probably never said quite this plainly before.I wrote:“I have no idea how much weight I have